Bumstipsat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unselfish tortoise.

Bumstipsat created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Bumstipsat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bumstipsat, he will curse you with boils.

Bumstipsat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bumstipsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Never gather five snails in one place.

4. Never wear turquoise shoes on sacred days.

5. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with capybaras.