Damtanwig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish dugong.

Damtanwig created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Damtanwig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Damtanwig, he will turn you into a slug.

Damtanwig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Damtanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.