Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous narwhal.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg, she will think nothing of it.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

3. Never write about moons.

4. You must love Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near swans while wearing black kilts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your legs.