Monjigquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing centipede.

Monjigquaf created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Monjigquaf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Monjigquaf, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Monjigquaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Monjigquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Do not consume onions at dawn.

3. Monjigquaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.