Fomlamnel Barnlistmif is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless naga.

Fomlamnel Barnlistmif created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomlamnel Barnlistmif, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fomlamnel Barnlistmif, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fomlamnel Barnlistmif's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fomlamnel Barnlistmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never hop in winter.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.