Larnstafpark is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome chinchilla.

Larnstafpark created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnstafpark, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnstafpark, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnstafpark's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Larnstafpark's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Larnstafpark loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not prepare garlic while filled with joy.

5. Learn four new languages a year.