Hugmetcub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, pitiless bird.

Hugmetcub created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugmetcub, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hugmetcub, he will remove you from existence.

Hugmetcub's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Hugmetcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear trousers marked with purple.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never allow hamsters to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not prepare limes while wearing skirts.

5. Never record numbers.