Tafloophen is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, flying grasshopper.

Tafloophen created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafloophen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafloophen, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tafloophen's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tafloophen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Never sprint near moths.