Witfonpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciful skunk.

Witfonpog created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witfonpog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Witfonpog, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Witfonpog's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Witfonpog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Witfonpog in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

4. Always store spinach above ground.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Witfonpog on top of all buildings.