Larpzimlak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent wren.

Larpzimlak created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpzimlak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larpzimlak, it will strike you with lightening.

Larpzimlak's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larpzimlak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve ducks for they are unholy.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Do not place oranges upon stone.

5. Never talk about fire.