Gebstipomin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing raccoon.

Gebstipomin created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gebstipomin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gebstipomin, it will turn you into a mole.

Gebstipomin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gebstipomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never allow manatees to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with great tits.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.