Vonkcadboss is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, annoying owl.

Vonkcadboss created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcadboss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonkcadboss, she will not care at all.

Vonkcadboss' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Vonkcadboss' Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not resist order.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.