Vennillfombam Faslopster is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent newt.

Vennillfombam Faslopster created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vennillfombam Faslopster, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vennillfombam Faslopster, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vennillfombam Faslopster's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Vennillfombam Faslopster's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.