Tikwatcip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing meerkat.

Tikwatcip created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikwatcip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tikwatcip, she will turn you into a worm.

Tikwatcip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tikwatcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Put Tikwatcip first in all things.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.