Metarplun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, amazing snake.

Metarplun created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metarplun, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Metarplun, it will turn you into a rat.

Metarplun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Metarplun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after badgers.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Always help rats.