Nilqueegrag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless salamander.

Nilqueegrag created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilqueegrag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nilqueegrag, he will think nothing of it.

Nilqueegrag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nilqueegrag's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all portents.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not consume figs at dawn.

4. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured moths.