Dabpiddan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless armadillo.

Dabpiddan created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabpiddan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dabpiddan, she will be very sad.

Dabpiddan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dabpiddan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always wear black.