Dinnatjig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic wren.

Dinnatjig created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Dinnatjig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dinnatjig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dinnatjig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dinnatjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mix pineapples with water.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.