Nurtquarting is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid warg.

Nurtquarting created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtquarting, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurtquarting, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nurtquarting's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nurtquarting's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Nurtquarting must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never gather three tortoises in one place.

5. Do not shave your hands.