Row is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering hedgehog.

Row created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Row, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Row, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Row's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from brown ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

5. You must pray to Row five times a day.