Bagzedrak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, smart sheep.

Bagzedrak created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagzedrak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bagzedrak, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bagzedrak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bagzedrak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bagzedrak in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never paint your back violet.