Teenappwod Yikfarnbell is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, calm crane.

Teenappwod Yikfarnbell created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenappwod Yikfarnbell, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Teenappwod Yikfarnbell, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Teenappwod Yikfarnbell's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Teenappwod Yikfarnbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never wear boots.

3. You must love Teenappwod Yikfarnbell.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never sprint near great tits.