Bastmadpib is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair raccoon.

Bastmadpib created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastmadpib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bastmadpib, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bastmadpib's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bastmadpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Never wear violet skirts.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.