Nuttxemcim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, emotional spider.

Nuttxemcim created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttxemcim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nuttxemcim, it will turn you into a frog.

Nuttxemcim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nuttxemcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Do not wear kilts marked with brown.

5. Always remove rings before touching titanium.