Wityamrak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic cow.

Wityamrak created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wityamrak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wityamrak, she will turn you into a mole.

Wityamrak's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wityamrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Wityamrak must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink alcohol.