Cubsterwiglag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced seal.

Cubsterwiglag created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubsterwiglag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubsterwiglag, she will turn you into a slug.

Cubsterwiglag's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cubsterwiglag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cubsterwiglag.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always store coconuts above ground.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.