Biffagcun is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, almighty cow.

Biffagcun created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biffagcun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Biffagcun, he will refuse to believe in you.

Biffagcun's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Biffagcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Always store garlic above ground.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.