Cimkantit is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish dog.

Cimkantit created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkantit, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cimkantit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cimkantit's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Cimkantit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cimkantit.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Cimkantit loves cats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.