Sugvonvab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, selfish seal.

Sugvonvab created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugvonvab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sugvonvab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sugvonvab's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sugvonvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Never talk about sharks.