Jadpogfub Mondumkad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, capable alligator.

Jadpogfub Mondumkad created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadpogfub Mondumkad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jadpogfub Mondumkad, she will turn you into a slug.

Jadpogfub Mondumkad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jadpogfub Mondumkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Never touch oil while tainted.