Sandyikvag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish clam.

Sandyikvag created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandyikvag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sandyikvag, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sandyikvag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sandyikvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear black kilts.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Always remove skirts before touching copper.