Vancinhim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective hydra.

Vancinhim created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vancinhim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vancinhim, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vancinhim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Vancinhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed rice to moths while wearing red boots.

5. Never handle carbon while unclean.