Genmabzim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, caring jaguar.

Genmabzim created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genmabzim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Genmabzim, it will turn you into a tree.

Genmabzim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Genmabzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt monkeys.

2. Never leap in spring.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Genmabzim on top of all buildings.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Do not name children after otters.