Funsawdan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent pig.

Funsawdan created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Funsawdan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Funsawdan, he will laugh at you.

Funsawdan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Funsawdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never stain your hands with green.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.