Butflagmif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciful giraffe.

Butflagmif created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Butflagmif, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Butflagmif, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Butflagmif's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Butflagmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix peanuts with ash.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Butflagmif.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near birds while wearing gray boots.