Wodsintap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart porpoise.

Wodsintap created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodsintap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wodsintap, he will turn you into a puffin.

Wodsintap's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wodsintap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

2. You must pray to Wodsintap four times a day.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never whisper while facing east.