Mumfarmig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident wyrm.

Mumfarmig created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumfarmig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumfarmig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Mumfarmig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Mumfarmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Never jump in the presence of seals.

3. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with bats.

4. Never touch oil while tainted.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Mumfarmig in the centre of the settlement.