Govpodfly is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, clever aardvark.

Govpodfly created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govpodfly, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Govpodfly, it will turn you into a rat.

Govpodfly's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Govpodfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Never stain your feet with pink.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.