Cisshitbun is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, calm jaguar.

Cisshitbun created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cisshitbun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cisshitbun, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cisshitbun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cisshitbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.