Tomfigsas is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous horse.

Tomfigsas created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomfigsas, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tomfigsas, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tomfigsas' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tomfigsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

2. Never wear brown shorts on sacred days.

3. Do not place beans upon stone.

4. Never feed lots of figs to squirrels while wearing red shoes.

5. Do not wear jumpers marked with cyan.