Ontcebcep is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, impressive giraffe.

Ontcebcep created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontcebcep, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ontcebcep, she will laugh at you.

Ontcebcep's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Ontcebcep's Holy Commandments

1. Ontcebcep must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never mark doors with green.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Hide if six horses approach from the west.

5. Never feed melons to nematodes while wearing shirts.