Henwannan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, vain monkey.

Henwannan created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Henwannan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Henwannan, he will turn you into a rock.

Henwannan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Henwannan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Henwannan on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Henwannan.

5. Never hurt otters.