Timpigpig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty shark.

Timpigpig created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timpigpig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Timpigpig, it will not invite you to parties.

Timpigpig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Timpigpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after seals.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

5. Do not stand on grass.