Wodfitxem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy fish.

Wodfitxem created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodfitxem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wodfitxem, she will turn you into a rat.

Wodfitxem's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wodfitxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not take Wodfitxem's name in vain.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.