Latmetbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing wren.

Latmetbonk created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Latmetbonk, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Latmetbonk, she will turn you into a dog.

Latmetbonk's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Latmetbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midday.

2. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear skirts marked with indigo.

5. Pray towards the south.