Dudcubcud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish crab.

Dudcubcud created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudcubcud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dudcubcud, it will turn you into a snail.

Dudcubcud's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dudcubcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Dudcubcud loves moths, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help dogs in need.

4. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

5. Do not record secrets concerning comets.