Sawteenbep is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unfair swallow.

Sawteenbep created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawteenbep, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sawteenbep, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sawteenbep's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Sawteenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not keep nine doves in a large pit.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not covet oxen.