Xem is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish toad.

Xem created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xem, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Xem's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at midday.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Xem on top of all buildings.