Viltunkik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical finch.

Viltunkik created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Viltunkik, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Viltunkik, it will turn you into a mole.

Viltunkik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Viltunkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while wearing skirts.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not prepare melons while filled with envy.

5. Run away from indigo aardvarks, for they are unholy.