Yogfedpop is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish hamster.

Yogfedpop created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogfedpop, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yogfedpop, he will turn you into a dog.

Yogfedpop's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Yogfedpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Hide from turquoise rats for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.